Believing isn’t fashionable. During the holiday season, belief is promoted as something that little kids do. Believing is OK for adults, in a Hallmark Special kind of way because it gives us warm fuzzies. But it’s not something to be taken seriously.
So why do we have “faith traditions” in which most of the world participates? The word “faith” itself assumes a reality larger than ourselves. Most of the world realizes that we are not the center of the universe and that we need to belong to a community of faith that helps us make sense of the small part of reality that we occupy, and that gives some reasonable context to that small part of reality.
All of us are on a faith journey. Not only do we occupy a small part of a larger reality, we are moving through that reality. And the metaphor of travel brings home the fact that our own path is a very small part of the much larger and richer landscape of the reality through which we travel. Will we move through that landscape by ourselves or in the company of friends and wiser people?
Lately I’ve been using the phrase “informed faith decision.” It sounds oxymoronic to put “informed” and “faith” in the same phrase, but that’s only if you deny that you are moving through a larger reality (if your own experience is the only reality then you can experience it however you want). If you are looking for a good group to travel with, then it makes sense to use some brain cells to make a wise decision about which sort of people you want to travel with and whether or not their understanding of the larger reality provides a sensible map.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
loving God
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out how to love God. I do things like read the Bible and pray and go to worship, but it doesn’t always seem real.
Loving God seems like a nebulous, vague thing. Is it a warm feeling inside or is it feeling guilty because God did so much for me? So then it occurs to me: what if I do something for someone? That’s concrete and it makes God happy. People know that we love God when we do things for each other and for people in our world. More importantly, it helps me know that I love God. Loving others is how I make real to myself that I love God.
I’m not good at those simple, loving things. A quick phone call or some other gesture of caring seems so insignificant compared to the grand stuff of “ministry”. I fall for the deceit of thinking that only the big things count. But the word translated “minister” in the Bible is really the word for servant or serving. When I serve someone, I am loving them and loving God.
Loving God seems like a nebulous, vague thing. Is it a warm feeling inside or is it feeling guilty because God did so much for me? So then it occurs to me: what if I do something for someone? That’s concrete and it makes God happy. People know that we love God when we do things for each other and for people in our world. More importantly, it helps me know that I love God. Loving others is how I make real to myself that I love God.
I’m not good at those simple, loving things. A quick phone call or some other gesture of caring seems so insignificant compared to the grand stuff of “ministry”. I fall for the deceit of thinking that only the big things count. But the word translated “minister” in the Bible is really the word for servant or serving. When I serve someone, I am loving them and loving God.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
back to basics
Ah, the good old days. In October 1997 when we started the core group of what would become Grace Community, no one thought of money as a limitation. We had a generous denomination to help us get started and no one doubted that we would be financially self-sufficient within three years (the standard for proving that we were a viable church plant). After all, economic times were good and people were starting to make money just by having a good idea that happened to mention the phrase “world wide web”. And the term “sub-prime” did not evoke fear and anger.
So it’s been a bit of a shock to realize that Grace Community hasn’t been immune to the recession, that we’re having to dip into savings to make our rent, and that to balance the budget we’ve had to do things like cut staff expense reimbursements. (I’m not complaining about it, since as everyone reminds me, it’s what most businesses are having to do.)
The leadership team has been forced to consider moving in order to save money. As we’ve reflected on this new reality, it’s led to a change in perspective. When you have enough money, there’s an illusion of control. Every week in worship we say that we’re giving back to God a portion of what he’s given to us. But inside I’ve been thinking, “Aren’t you lucky, God, to have people like us to help you spend your money.”
But now the illusion of control is gone. If we got the money by our own efforts, then our efforts are obviously not good enough to pay the rent. We need some help. And it seems that our own efforts are falling short in a lot of other areas, too.
In the last leadership team meeting, as we looked at the (only) two options we seemed to have, one of us said, “I don’t know what to do. Let’s pray.” So we did. And after that, we came to the realization that we were being driven mostly by cost considerations and had forgotten our core values, especially the value of being inviting. We’re a friendly group, but people aren’t staying with us simply because we’re not really inviting them to. We’d rather go to lunch after worship with nice people that we already know.
So for the next year or so we’re going to work on being inviting. That, and acknowledging that everything we have really does come from God and that we will always fall short if we're not trusting in God.
So it’s been a bit of a shock to realize that Grace Community hasn’t been immune to the recession, that we’re having to dip into savings to make our rent, and that to balance the budget we’ve had to do things like cut staff expense reimbursements. (I’m not complaining about it, since as everyone reminds me, it’s what most businesses are having to do.)
The leadership team has been forced to consider moving in order to save money. As we’ve reflected on this new reality, it’s led to a change in perspective. When you have enough money, there’s an illusion of control. Every week in worship we say that we’re giving back to God a portion of what he’s given to us. But inside I’ve been thinking, “Aren’t you lucky, God, to have people like us to help you spend your money.”
But now the illusion of control is gone. If we got the money by our own efforts, then our efforts are obviously not good enough to pay the rent. We need some help. And it seems that our own efforts are falling short in a lot of other areas, too.
In the last leadership team meeting, as we looked at the (only) two options we seemed to have, one of us said, “I don’t know what to do. Let’s pray.” So we did. And after that, we came to the realization that we were being driven mostly by cost considerations and had forgotten our core values, especially the value of being inviting. We’re a friendly group, but people aren’t staying with us simply because we’re not really inviting them to. We’d rather go to lunch after worship with nice people that we already know.
So for the next year or so we’re going to work on being inviting. That, and acknowledging that everything we have really does come from God and that we will always fall short if we're not trusting in God.
Friday, October 30, 2009
my ambition
I had a thought a while ago that I can remember wanting to write down, but I didn’t and now I can’t remember what triggered it. I just looked through my journal hoping for clues to remind me, but I can’t remember how long ago I had the thought. So here it is without any context.
I remember thinking that there is a lot of pain in the world. And I decided not to contribute to it. I remember searching in my mind for the right word, and thinking that what I wanted was to be a source of comfort and not a source of pain.
I remember thinking that there is a lot of pain in the world. And I decided not to contribute to it. I remember searching in my mind for the right word, and thinking that what I wanted was to be a source of comfort and not a source of pain.
Monday, October 26, 2009
questions
I led worship for Grace’s Sunday worship yesterday I began the worship with a responsive reading of Psalm 34:1-8 that I ended with a time of reflection on verse 8 (“Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him”): What are the things that are threatening me and how can I take refuge in God? Two of the songs I chose were “Blessed be your name” and “Father let me dedicate”. The songs are well-crafted and have deeply meaningful texts such as, “Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering” and “Not from sorrow, pain or care/ freedom dare I claim/ and whate’er the future brings/ glorify thy name”.
I spent the afternoon at a residence for people who are HIV positive. A few of us from Grace Community go there once a month to prepare dinner for them (the house doesn’t provide dinner on Sundays). They’re in varying states of health. I bring my guitar and spend the afternoon singing for them, praying for anyone who asks, and leading a Bible discussion if anyone’s interested.
I was pulling out my guitar and had been warming up and playing/singing bits of worship songs to myself. One of the residents who was confined to a wheelchair about a year ago had been sitting next to me and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. But When I stopped he told me that he liked my spirit as I sang. So I started to sing especially for him. I was trying to think of songs to sing and the songs from the morning’s worship came to mind, including “Blessed be your name” and “Father let me dedicate”.
And as I sang, the songs started to take on a whole new level of meaning for me. Could I sing “Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering” if I were in a wheelchair with no hope of walking again? Do I really believe that, just like my friend with HIV, I have no right to freedom from sorrow, pain or care, and could I say that I would glorify God’s name no matter the future brings? Is that what it means to take refuge in him?
Can a child presume to choose
where or how to live?
Can a Father's love refuse
All the best to give?
I spent the afternoon at a residence for people who are HIV positive. A few of us from Grace Community go there once a month to prepare dinner for them (the house doesn’t provide dinner on Sundays). They’re in varying states of health. I bring my guitar and spend the afternoon singing for them, praying for anyone who asks, and leading a Bible discussion if anyone’s interested.
I was pulling out my guitar and had been warming up and playing/singing bits of worship songs to myself. One of the residents who was confined to a wheelchair about a year ago had been sitting next to me and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. But When I stopped he told me that he liked my spirit as I sang. So I started to sing especially for him. I was trying to think of songs to sing and the songs from the morning’s worship came to mind, including “Blessed be your name” and “Father let me dedicate”.
And as I sang, the songs started to take on a whole new level of meaning for me. Could I sing “Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering” if I were in a wheelchair with no hope of walking again? Do I really believe that, just like my friend with HIV, I have no right to freedom from sorrow, pain or care, and could I say that I would glorify God’s name no matter the future brings? Is that what it means to take refuge in him?
Can a child presume to choose
where or how to live?
Can a Father's love refuse
All the best to give?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
bomb shelter
On Monday another high school student committed suicide on the train tracks in Palo Alto. This is the fourth suicide in 6 months. One of my friends is on a county commission that reviews all of the deaths of people under the age of 18. He told a group of us (mostly pastors) at a meeting today that the usual explanation of academic pressure isn’t the primary culprit in these suicides.
Another in the group who is a psychotherapist described the mental calculus of someone who’s suicidal. The situation the person is experiencing becomes so painful, death becomes a logical way out. Another contributing factor is isolation: there’s no one to provide a reality check. And it’s scary how inept our contemporary society is at providing us with skills for nurturing relationships. We teach people how to make a living, but not how to make a life.
This was highlighted by one of our group who is an Armenian pastor from Lebanon. He was surprised at how isolated we are in America. He told us that during the nearly 20 years of civil war in Lebanon bombings were a regular occurrence. People would immediately seek shelter in whatever basement was available. As a pastor, he would often invite people to kneel together, hold hands and pray. The group would contain people who were Muslim and Christian and non-religious, but in that basement it didn’t matter who you said you were on the outside. No one refused to kneel or hold hands, no one took sides, everyone was concerned about the same thing: survival.
For someone in isolation, inner turmoil can become an overwhelming source of pain. But when that pain is experienced together, when you’re able to hold hands with someone, when you’re able to voice aloud your concerns in prayer, there is healing and hope. It doesn’t make the danger of the situation go away, but it gives you the empowering to you need to face the terror.
It occurred to me that that’s what it means to be in a growth group. All of us are under attack from the daily pressures of life and forces beyond our control. There is a war raging that is threatening my very soul. Where do i go for safety? Where do i go to drop my facade, where i can simply hold hands and pray and make it through to another day? Where is my bomb shelter?
Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another. Hebrews 10:25
Another in the group who is a psychotherapist described the mental calculus of someone who’s suicidal. The situation the person is experiencing becomes so painful, death becomes a logical way out. Another contributing factor is isolation: there’s no one to provide a reality check. And it’s scary how inept our contemporary society is at providing us with skills for nurturing relationships. We teach people how to make a living, but not how to make a life.
This was highlighted by one of our group who is an Armenian pastor from Lebanon. He was surprised at how isolated we are in America. He told us that during the nearly 20 years of civil war in Lebanon bombings were a regular occurrence. People would immediately seek shelter in whatever basement was available. As a pastor, he would often invite people to kneel together, hold hands and pray. The group would contain people who were Muslim and Christian and non-religious, but in that basement it didn’t matter who you said you were on the outside. No one refused to kneel or hold hands, no one took sides, everyone was concerned about the same thing: survival.
For someone in isolation, inner turmoil can become an overwhelming source of pain. But when that pain is experienced together, when you’re able to hold hands with someone, when you’re able to voice aloud your concerns in prayer, there is healing and hope. It doesn’t make the danger of the situation go away, but it gives you the empowering to you need to face the terror.
It occurred to me that that’s what it means to be in a growth group. All of us are under attack from the daily pressures of life and forces beyond our control. There is a war raging that is threatening my very soul. Where do i go for safety? Where do i go to drop my facade, where i can simply hold hands and pray and make it through to another day? Where is my bomb shelter?
Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another. Hebrews 10:25
Monday, October 12, 2009
loving more
I went to a wedding on Saturday and the couple made a promise in their vows to “love you more each day.” It occurred to me that that’s a dangerous promise, especially if you don’t know what you’re promising. What does it mean to love someone? How do you increase that love every day? Maybe I was in a curmudgeonly mood, but the phrase struck me as an insincere or at least an empty promise, a bit too “happily ever after.”
Most of us equate “love” in marriage (or at weddings) with a feeling of warmness and desire toward someone. But we also assume that our feelings are a response to our environment. We don’t have much control over our environment (like when our spouse leaves their clothes on the floor or the cap off the toothpaste again), so even if we’re really good at controlling our response to our environment (which is something I know I struggle with) the environment is still a variable that will probably keep us from finding our fairy tale ending.
But don’t think that I’m completely unromantic. I think that it’s possible to love someone more each day, just not merely in the sense of an increasing feeling of romantic attraction. Here’s what I mean. Service is love in action. And the more I focus on serving others, the more affection I’ll feel for them. It happens on sports teams and in wartime (see “Band of Brothers”). And it can happen in a marriage, where it’ll be expressed as being more and more “in love”. Remember that the next time you see an elderly married couple holding hands and making eyes at each other. (See, I do have some romance left in me.)
The bottom line is that instead of focusing on my feelings toward someone, I need to focus on my attitude and actions toward them. And that will indirectly affect my feelings, too. Jesus spent his life focused on others, starting with his Father and then expressing that in love toward the world. At the end of his life he even washed his disciples’ feet, an act of servanthood that shocked the disciples, and then told them to love each other as he had loved them (John 13). Jesus has shown me how to love others more each day. May he grant me the grace to follow his example.
Most of us equate “love” in marriage (or at weddings) with a feeling of warmness and desire toward someone. But we also assume that our feelings are a response to our environment. We don’t have much control over our environment (like when our spouse leaves their clothes on the floor or the cap off the toothpaste again), so even if we’re really good at controlling our response to our environment (which is something I know I struggle with) the environment is still a variable that will probably keep us from finding our fairy tale ending.
But don’t think that I’m completely unromantic. I think that it’s possible to love someone more each day, just not merely in the sense of an increasing feeling of romantic attraction. Here’s what I mean. Service is love in action. And the more I focus on serving others, the more affection I’ll feel for them. It happens on sports teams and in wartime (see “Band of Brothers”). And it can happen in a marriage, where it’ll be expressed as being more and more “in love”. Remember that the next time you see an elderly married couple holding hands and making eyes at each other. (See, I do have some romance left in me.)
The bottom line is that instead of focusing on my feelings toward someone, I need to focus on my attitude and actions toward them. And that will indirectly affect my feelings, too. Jesus spent his life focused on others, starting with his Father and then expressing that in love toward the world. At the end of his life he even washed his disciples’ feet, an act of servanthood that shocked the disciples, and then told them to love each other as he had loved them (John 13). Jesus has shown me how to love others more each day. May he grant me the grace to follow his example.
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