Thursday, July 21, 2011

making others miserable

Why was Martha upset at Mary in Luke 10? Martha was bothered by Mary’s not helping with the chores, but was even more incensed that Mary wasn’t participating in Martha’s sense of frantic busy-ness. Martha wanted Mary to feel the same way she felt. Nothing is so infuriating to an anxious person as a calm person. Misery loves company and wants to drag everyone into the same mire of turmoil.

It’s true that empathy can be healing. But the empathetic person can’t become enmeshed in the same dire perspective as the person who is to be helped or there will be no help. Martha was feeling that everything depended on her. She probably felt that she was even earning some kind of brownie points with God because she was taking Jesus’ presence in her home seriously. On the other hand, Mary was enjoying Jesus’ presence, a presence which made even the everyday surroundings and activities delightful. So Jesus recognized Martha’s feelings and preoccupations, but encouraged her to let go and know that the best things in life, loving and being loved, are truly free… and freeing.