Tuesday, December 18, 2007

good will toward men

In the prayer of presence for the third week of Advent I am reminded that everything around me "is tingling with the presence of God." Why "tingling"?

If God is present everywhere, that should be cause for fear. At least, that's how we motivate kids who still believe in Santa: "he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake".

Unless. Unless the message of the angels is true. Unless God is really full of good will toward men (and women). That's a thought that makes me tingle. God is not a cosmic killjoy, a galactic Scrooge that hates it when people are having a good time. He genuinely desires for us to have the best, to know true love and joy.

The problem is that we do not have good will toward God. Or toward each other. We are constantly sabotaging our Creator's designs for our own fulfillment.

So He sent a savior. And he sent angels to announce it. To remind us again that he is full of good will toward us. Even when we are so lacking in good will that we would kill Him.

peace on earth

When we think of peace we usually think of quiet. I certainly do, especially when my 5, 7, and 9 year olds are yelling and screaming, which is their way of showing that they're enjoying themselves.

But on that Palestinian hillside in the first century AD, I don't think the "great company of the heavenly host" was very quiet as they praised God and announced "peace on earth." Peace isn't necessarily quiet. Peace (shalom in Hebrew) is when all things are as they should be, working in perfect harmony.

It reminds me of singing in a sing-along Messiah last Monday night. The Hallelujah Chorus is fun to sing (we sang it twice) but my favorite chorus is the final Amen. It's got lots of counterpoint, i.e., the different voices are singing very different lines and it's all weaving around in what can be a very confusing mishmash of melodies. Until you get to the end when everything begins to resolve. You can hear the light at the end of the tunnel (how's that for a mixed metaphor!) and then suddenly the final measures are upon you, with all of the orchestra, including the brass, playing in full support of the voices as the glory of those last drawn-out chords hangs in the air. I felt like I was floating on those chords, drawn up to heaven (and losing my voice by over singing).

That's God's peace: everything working together in a great crescendo of harmony, beautifully fitting together at full volume. It's life lived to the full and as it was designed to be lived, full throttle and yet effortlessly. My kids would love it.

magazine covers

I've just come from meeting with my men's growth group. We were talking about money, based on Richard Foster's book "The challenge of the disciplined life: money, sex and power". Is having money important in our society? One of the group pointed out that you never see a picture of a poor person on the cover of a magazine. Imagine how different our thoughts and feelings would be as we waited in line at the check out counter if there were pictures of poor people looking back at us from the magazine racks instead of wealthy, famous, good-looking people. We'd feel better about ourselves, there'd be less coveting and lusting, we wouldn't be as competitive, we might just get along better. But magazine publishers wouldn't make much money.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

advice for fathers

I was talking to a friend who's been in occupational ministry for over 23 years. He has two sons, aged 28 and 23 who are both loving God and serving the world. The older one is married and working for a non-profit, the other just got engaged. I asked him what advice he would give me to help me raise my son. He said a few things that were good, but after thinking about it a bit more, he gave me this: "Have a good marriage."

the hardest love

Why is it that the hardest people to love are your family?

In "My Monastery is a Minivan" Denis Roy has a chapter titled "I'm not nice anymore". Why is it that when I get into close proximity to the people that are the most important to me I act as though they are the least important?

Here's a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 for family situations:

I will show that I love my (parent, spouse, child) by not giving up, and by looking for ways to make her/his life easier. I will not belittle her/his joys, I will not insist on talking about my business. I will say "please" and "thank you." I won't insist on my own way. I will not act immediately on my anger. I will not bring up past ways s/he's hurt me or ways s/he's messed up. I'll try to be glad when good things happen to her/him and try to understand the things that cause her/him pain. I will not be a source of hurt, but give the benefit of the doubt and look past the current situation to the person that God is making her/him to be. It's hard, but with God's help I'll keep trying.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

confessions of a program pack rat

I'll admit it: one of my personal challenges as a leader is to get rid of stuff. Not physical stuff, but stuff to do, i.e., programs.

There's a kind of comfort in doing the same things over and over. I become familiar with the routine and develop a certain expertise in doing it. Doing that thing becomes a part of my identity, something that I value.

There's also a comfort in having a lot of things to do. Having a long to-do list makes me feel important. And It gives me lots of options (in case one of them fails). I'm not the gambling type who will put all my hopes into one or two things. I like to hedge my bets.

But being a leader means taking risks. It means figuring out what God wants our church community to focus on and then doing it. And failing doesn't necessarily mean, well, failure. Proverbs 24:16 says, "though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again." It means that I have an opportunity to learn and move on.

It's time to ask God for wisdom about what to take off the to-do list and put on the stop-doing list. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)

Monday, December 3, 2007

more of the same

At lunch yesterday (at a restaurant that will remain unnamed) I ordered two strawberry pearl milk teas for the kids. One of them took a sip and said, "It tastes funny." Winnie concurred, so I took it back and asked for another. The waitress gave me a long explanation about how all of the strawberry pearl milk teas tasted kind of odd because of the kind of tea they were using, etc., ending with, "I won't give you another because it'll just taste the same and you'll bring it back again." She convinced me to get a strawberry-guava drink instead. As we were leaving, one of the people we had eaten with said to me, "She had her explanation all worked out. She knew it tasted funny. Why do they keep serving it?"

Good question. Yesterday morning we had a town hall meeting, partly to discuss the fact that Grace Community hasn't been growing for a couple years. We want to grow. We know growth is a sign of life and vitality. But there's something in us (including me) that wants to keep doing things the same way and then hope for different results. We have our explanations ready: "People aren't interested in spiritual things." "We don't have enough resources." "The competition's too tough." and even "But that's the way we've always done it."

It's time to ask the hard question: If we know it tastes funny, why do we keep doing it this way? I don't want to say we have to pander to people's tastes. Most people know that I'm no fan of "seeker sensitive" worship services. The taste buds that really matter to us are Jesus'. And there are certain kinds of churches that make him want to puke. Really.

Rev. 3:16 is about a church that was "neither hot nor cold" for God. They just kept doing things the way they always had. No passion. No vision. That's what I worry about: that I may be just going through the motions because my heart no longer beats with God's heart. That I don't have a vision for people around me because I've lost sight of God's vision for them.

So no more excuses or rationalizing. "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."

Friday, November 30, 2007

fishing

In today's Sacred Space the passage was about the call of Simon (later called Peter by Jesus) and Andrew, who were fishing with a net at the time. Jesus told them to follow him and they would fish for people. What does it mean to fish for people? I wonder what Peter and Andrew thought of Jesus' use of the phrase?

It struck me that a good fisherman probably knows a lot about fish, can even "think like a fish" in a weird sort of way. Peter and Andrew knew where the fish were at that time of day and were going after them. They didn't try to fish from their house or some other place where they were comfortable. They knew they had to get wet and messy in order to fish.

And what's the goal? Peter and Andrew weren't fishing with rods and reels, they were using a net. They weren't after individual "converts", they were going to where the fish were and then casting their net. Here's where the metaphor breaks down for me: only Peter ended up as a mass evangelist, with 3000 becoming followers of Jesus after his sermon in Acts 2. But maybe that's the point. It's not up to us to do the converting, we're just supposed to cast the net.

Flash back to Darren's sermon title from last Sunday: outreach isn't reaching out. It's not staying where we're comfortable and hoping people will come to us. It's being like Jesus out where people are so that they can see something of God's hope and healing through us. Which is something else to note: Jesus didn't call Peter, he called Peter and Andrew (and James and John right afterward). Fishing for people isn't something we're expected to do alone. It takes several people to cast a net and haul it back in. It's something we do together.

inside stuff

I've often wished that people knew what was going on inside of me, but I hesitate to be too self-disclosing for lots of (mostly neurotic) reasons. I'm worried about what they might think of me, what sort of impression I'm making, or I'm just ashamed of what I'm thinking about or feeling.

And I've often wished that I knew more of what was going on inside of other people. It's funny how people that I'm "close" to often have no idea what's going on inside of me nor I of what's going in inside of them. We're pretty selective about what we want others to know about us.

God isn't like that. He wants us to know everything about him. He invites us into the inner recesses of his heart. He longs for us to know his mind. What we don't know about him is our own fault: we're too self-absorbed, too narrow-minded, too immature.

Unlike me, God doesn't get defensive or put up walls. He was willing to get hurt, even to the point of dying. He didn't try to protect himself. And, in a weird way, that is the source of his power. His love, which made him take on the vulnerability of a Jewish baby born to peasants who were part of an oppressed people, compelled him all the way to death as a counter-cultural teacher. And that death conquered Death and the power of sin because he wasn't just a baby or a teacher, he was God who is love.

I need the transforming power of that love. If you could see inside me, you'd know how much I need it.

a sign of the times?

Yesterday, as I often do, I was praying at my computer using the website Sacred Space (sacredspace.ie/prayer). The prayer of presence was, "I will leave aside my chores and preoccupations; I will take rest and refreshment in your presence, Lord." Some glitch in their server wouldn't let me leave that prayer. I clicked "move on" and the site directed me back to that prayer. I tried several times, then thought "Maybe God is trying to tell me something."

Do I know how to find rest and refreshment in God's presence? The season of Advent is supposed to be a time of preparation, but it's the Christmas shopping season, too, along with Christmas decorating and Christmas entertaining. If there's any time I need rest and refreshment, it's during Advent, but it's hard to come by.

I don't have a quick and easy answer for this dilemma. Which is the point, I guess. Finding rest and refreshment in God's presence is something that one learns to do over a long period of time. It's part of the reason for "devotions". The more devoted we become to God, the more readily we are able to access the life-giving love, joy and peace of his Spirit. So Advent is as good a time as any to start.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

shopper or hunter?

Why do Christians celebrate Advent? I'm aware that it can seem like just one more thing to add to a busy life: trying to carve out time for Advent candle lightings or Advent meditations when there's shopping to be done and parties to attend.

Advent is meant to shape us. As creatures of time and space, we are shaped by how we spend our time and what we pay attention to. I'm not a shopper, I'm a hunter. I scope out the terrain (through newspaper ads), find my prey, and swoop in for the kill, all of which is accomplished in the least amount of time. Other people love to walk through the aisles finding bargains or just admiring interesting items. They know what time of year the best sales can be found or when the interesting merchandise is put out. They know the mall parking lot like the back of their hand. Their lives are shaped by shopping.

Do we give that kind of attention to the seasons of the Christian year? Do we enjoy the changes in the seasons that remind us of Jesus' birth, events of his life, events of his death and resurrection, and the founding of his Church? Do we know the stories and the traditions and the colors of the Christian seasons?

I was raised to not have a lot of regard for the Christian year. Sure, Christmas and Easter were important, but the notion of a rhythm to the year was thought to be too Roman Catholic for a good Baptist kid. So I was raised with a hunting mentality: bypass Advent and Lent, forget Pentecost, just swoop in and grab what's necessary for Christmas and Easter.

But over the years I've become a holy-day shopper, learning to slow down and enjoy the sights and sounds of the Christian year and have my life shaped by the annual cycle of days and seasons repeating the story of God's love and redemptive activity in our world. The music, the prayers, the colors, and other traditions have become ways that God can shape my heart.

So this Advent season: hunt for gifts and shop for grace.

devotion(s)

Some people who've been Christians for a while use the word "devotions" to refer to their times of Bible reading, prayer, meditation, or whatever they do to set aside time just for God. I've always been intrigued by this word.

When someone is devoted to something, you can always tell. Over time and with a lot of repetition that thing shapes her/his life. If someone is devoted to cooking, s/he will read magazines and books about cooking, buy cooking gadgets and gear, wear cooking apparel, and get joy out of tasting foods or developing a menu.

Am I devoted to God? What effect do my "devotions" have on me? Do they shape me? Maybe the things that really shape me are my true "devotions". And if my life is to be "conformed to the image of Christ" (Rom. 8:29) then I may need to get rid of some of these other devotions.

I was thinking about this as I considered how to fast during this Advent season (see the previous post for my reason for fasting for Advent). I could fast from food one day a week, which would be fairly traditional. But I want to fast in such a way that I'm reminded daily of the fact that I'm fasting. I want to set aside something that I'm devoted to and give that intentionally created space to God. The purpose is not to prove my devotion to God. The purpose is to give God a chance to shape me.

mirror or window?

What does it mean to be a leader? What does it mean to be a leader in a church community?

Grace Community is not growing. Growth is a sign of health. There's no magic pill to take to get healthy. It takes exercise, a good diet, good amounts of rest, and a good frame of mind. And you have to keep doing it.

Good leaders look in the mirror when assessing blame and look out the window when giving credit. Jim Collins (Good to Great) writes about leaders of successful corporations who, when they couldn't find anyone but themselves to give credit to, would resort to "blaming" luck or timing for what everyone else knew was the leader's wisdom and perseverance. Conversely, if we're not exercising or not eating well, we're not going to get any healthier if we blame it on being in the wrong neighborhood or not having enough volunteers. We have to look in the mirror and ask, "What am I doing wrong and what do I need to change?" And then we have to do it.

So I've challenged the leadership team (including me) to use this Advent season as a time for prayer and fasting. Our prayer question is "How am I hindering God's work in Grace Community and what does he want me to do differently?" Please pray for the leadership team as we take this time to listen to God. Pray that we'll hear God as we continue to serve him and the church community. And pray that we'll have the courage to do what he's directing.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

enjoy

I love fall. Maybe it's because I was born in October, but I love this season: the colors in the trees, the way the sun never quite gets directly overhead, and the cool air on the skin even when the sky is bright blue.

Worship is a physical experience. The most central act of Christian worship is eating and drinking. Jesus makes himself available to us through his body and blood. Even waiting in line to take the communion elements is a bodily experience. I'm aware of the fact that I am standing in line, that there are others worshiping with me, that we are together the body of Christ in this particular place. Christians from other countries may not understand the words of the songs or the sermon, but they can eat and drink with us and we can be the body of Christ together.

The wedding ring vows from the old Book of Common Prayer said, "with my body I thee worship." I am an embodied soul, and my body is meant to worship God. Even my bodily aches and pains remind me that this is not how God designed my body to be and that my body is groaning along with all of creation for the coming day of redemption (Romans 8:18-23).

God didn't give us a body as a temporary nuisance. Our physical shortcomings are temporary, but not our bodies. We're going to be stuck with our resurrected bodies for the rest of eternity. And that goes for Jesus, too. Our physicality is meant to be a means of delight for us and for God, a means of worship and participation in God's joy. When he created the world he saw that it was good. It wasn't just correct or OK or not bad. It was the paragon of goodness, a delight, a source of joy.

Well, enough preaching. Last night, just before I fell asleep, I was struck with the thought that being a Christian is something God wants me to enjoy. It's not enough to be a Christian because it's the right thing or because I owe it to God because he sacrificed so much for me. There is something deeply joyful about being a Christian, something that brings out the joy in every aspect of life, that brings hope to even my physical and spiritual shortcomings. Joy is the second fruit of the Spirit, right after love (Galatians 5:22-23). If God is truly present in my life and I am cooperating with his transforming work in me, then joy is the result. And I am meant to experience that joy as an embodied soul.

It's another beautiful fall day. Enjoy it.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

something's missing

In "Girl meets God" Lauren Winner describes her first experience of Ash Wednesday, so-called because Christians are to receive a cross on their foreheads made of ash as a way of beginning the season of Lent. As she walks through the streets of Cambridge, MS, people stare and she writes that she wonders what they're wondering.

She then describes several conversations she has as a result of the smudges on her forehead: someone asks her where to go to church, another person accuses her of being closed-minded and an unfit college teacher, another person pulls her aside to tearfully share that her parents are divorcing.

As I read, it made me wonder: where are the marks in my life that I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus? If I had such marks some might be curious, others might want to know more, some might be hostile, and others might reveal their thirst, much as the woman at the well did in John 4.

Most of us who follow Jesus in the USA are uneasy with the notion of evangelism in the sense of talking with people about following Jesus. We can talk easily about job stress, housing costs, raising kids, or just about anything other than Jesus. So we, perhaps unconsciously, avoid putting anything into our lives that makes it too obvious that there's something different about us.

Somehow, I want to fill in that gap in my life. Let's give 'em something to talk about. And then maybe we'll have the chance to talk to them about the one thing that's really worth talking about.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

not waiting to exhale

Exhaling is an act of trust. It's letting go of what's familiar but already used up so that we can receive something new and life-giving.

When Sarah first shared with the staff that she would like to lead a mission trip to China, I felt in my heart that this was the right thing for Grace Community to do. This Sunday is the deadline for making a commitment to go. And now there's uncertainty. There's a need for us to exhale if God is going to be able to work in and through us.

Exhaling means letting go of our fears. Will it be dangerous? Who will take care of my (fill in the blank: family, job, business)? What if I'm not strong enough or capable enough? All of these are valid concerns. But we have a God who is big enough to take care of all of these things. If we are to experience that care we have to exhale so that we can inhale the life-giving Spirit that will sustain us and enable us to do God's work in places we may not have dreamed of.

Mary sang, "The Mighty One has done great things for me" before she had given birth to Jesus or experienced his public ministry or been awed by his resurrected presence (Luke 1:49). May we, too, be able to sing God's praises as we exhale.

learning to pray

I was happy to learn that as soon as the prayer retreat on 11/17 was announced 10 people signed up. And there have been more since. Besides being in a beautiful setting on Capitola beach, there will be gentle instruction in the ways of contemplative prayer that I know will give all the participants a wonderful time together.

I've also been happy that there's been a steady stream of people at the end of worship services seeking out the prayer helpers. The prayer ministry classes were well-attended, showing that we're entering into intercessory prayer in ways that we haven't in the past.

I'm encouraged that we're learning to engage both wings of prayer, listening and asking. May we become a church community that's characterized by prayer. And for those of us who worry that you don't know how to pray, "Pray as you can, not as you think you should." God understands and won't think less of us for not knowing how. He gives wisdom for how to pray if we just ask (James 1:5). So just pray.

hymns v. rock & roll

I was meeting with my leadership team prayer partner on Monday night and the topic of preferred worship styles came up. Some people assume that I'm all for drums and distortion guitar in worship, some think that I'm suppressing my love of hymns for the sake of making worship accessible to people who didn't grow up in church. Both are right.

Sure, I was noodling around on the guitar with the worship team on Sunday. I really do love the satisfying roar of power chords or the ringing notes of a clean single coil Strat. I think it's a great way to worship and I'm sure there will be a section of heaven that's a big jam session. But I have more classical music in my CD collection than rock or pop or jazz. I've sung bass in Verdi's Requiem with the Stanford Chorus and even led a choir myself for 5 years.

The point is that music is NOT a universal language: it's a learned language. To Winnie's chagrin, I understand very little Cantonese. So I miss out on the puns and the slang that she and her siblings throw around at family gatherings (most of what I understand has to do with food). In the same way, there are musical languages that we have to learn in order to appreciate and then utilize the many ways that God can be praised.

I may never (this side of eternity) learn to worship utilizing the quarter tones of Indian ragas. But I know that God can be praised with both hymns and rock & roll (although I have my doubts about country music).

When is a pastor not a pastor?

My men's GROWth group met last night. (GROW stands for God's Word, Relationships, Outreach, and Worship/prayer). We also met last Tuesday night and spent part of our meeting standing outside waiting to see if there would be any nasty aftershocks following the earthquake. Ah, the joys of living in California! But I digress.

We got out almost an hour late, mostly because as we were sharing prayer requests I realized that there was something I needed to share, something that revealed to me that I'm not the all-together person that I sometimes feel I am or need to be because I'm a pastor.

At first I didn't tell my prayer request, not because I was too embarrassed (although that thought occurred to me later), but because I was in denial when I first asked "Does anyone have any prayer requests?" and then said something that was true but not very self-disclosing after which others gave their prayer requests. But something (probably the Holy Spirit) inside me told me, "What about the thing that was bothering you so much earlier today?" So I said, "I have another prayer request." As I told the story, I realized that I was revealing how neurotic I was because something that day had triggered feelings that I had been trying to suppress for years, and my feelings and obsessing that day showed how unsuccessful my attempts at repression had been.

The guys offered perspective and prayer. Most importantly, they walked with me: their responses assured me that they had had similar experiences and they shared the lessons they had learned. It was good to not be the expert, the pastor.

I know that I'm still in the process of being formed in Jesus' image (Rom. 8:29). And God is using these guys to do that work.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

You're reading WHAT?!

OK, I'll confess: I'm reading the latest and last Harry Potter book and enjoying it. It's a little hard to get used to the grittiness of this book, because I'm used to the lighter, kid-friendly atmosphere of the previous books. The body count is appalling. But there is a kind of edge-of-your-seat excitement in the book, partly because of the fear of mortal danger. But enough of playing book critic.

The reason I hesitated to put this on my "what I'm reading" list is because there are so many in the Christian community who are up in arms about witchcraft as the subject of a book. (I would protest that the Harry Potter books aren't so much about witchcraft as they are about being an outsider in a society that prizes conformity. ) The same people might be a little put out that I've read "Pornified", but I could justify that as research for a sermon series and be let off the hook.

Am I a role model? Sure, and so is everyone. "Your life may be the only Gospel some people may ever read" as the saying goes. So should I avoid Harry Potter? Depends on what you think I'm a role model of (sorry for the terrible grammar but it gets the point across better). I don't want to be a role model of a narrow perspective of Christianity as promoted by a small group of powerful people. I want to be a role model of someone who is following Christ and engaged in my world so that I can know how to help others follow Christ in this world.

So I continue to be interested in a wide range of things, partly because I'm naturally curious and partly because I want to be as engaged as possible in this world that God loves and for which he gave his Son to redeem. I hope I'm a good role model of someone who is "in the world but not of it" (cf. John 15), rather than of someone who is "so heavenly minded he's of no earthly good."

Monday, October 22, 2007

Christ and culture

I finished reading Philip Jenkins’ “The Next Christendom”. The chapter on “Coming to terms” really interested me. Jenkins outlines how Christian beliefs have been modified or combined with indigenous religions in the places where Christianity is growing the fastest, i.e., in Asia, Africa and Latin America.

On the one hand, theologians in the West question if the result is truly Christianity. But Jenkins also discusses how Christianity was changed when it moved out of Palestine and co-opted religious practices of the Northern Europeans and British Isles.

Last Sunday we had a bunch of students from InterVarsity’s Stanford chapter visit as part of their “church tour”. In the Q&A afterward someone asked what it was like for someone who was not Asian American to participate in Grace Community. The question made me think about my own experience of Christianity, how my theology, my devotional life, my public worship, and even my music echoes so much of a voice that is mostly northern European.

Yesterday I went to lunch with several families from Grace Community. We were of Chinese and Korean backgrounds eating in a Japanese restaurant. There was that Asian American rhythm to our fellowship that made it easy for us to relate to each other so that conversation could flow easily.

In some ways I’m still coming to terms with being an Asian American Christian. At the same time, I’m sure that Christ is big enough to meet all of us on whatever terms are needed so that we can experience his grace.

Friday, October 12, 2007

more God sightings

Would Jesus go into a bar?

In the latest issue of the Covenant Companion (the Covenant's award-winning magazine) there are several articles of God sightings in places we might consider unusual: two articles were about finding God in bars, another about God's presence being felt at a funeral, and there was an article about how God is at work in the science of robotics. God was sighted by 2 pastors in bars (one pastor does sermon preparation there every Friday, maybe because he figures no one from the church will bother him there), by a friend at the funeral of a male prostitute and by the former director of the Carnegie Mellon Robotics Institute.

I just came from visiting two new parents in the hospital and had the privilege of seeing their newborn and praying with all three of them. I suppose we would consider that a typical place for God to show up: in the midst of the wonder of his creation of new life. But as I was talking to the (exhausted) new mom, we joked about my earring and how I was crossing some stereotypical boundaries for pastors. We agreed that Jesus would have no trouble going into a bar because that's where people go to look for support and respite. Often what they find in the bar (and in the church) are stereotypes they feel they need to maintain and so they keep things bottled up inside. But Jesus would have had no trouble challenging the stereotypes so that he could bring hope and healing wherever it's needed.

So maybe we need to start looking for God in unusual places. And maybe he's waiting to go to those places with us.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

speaking of sex...

I've been pleasantly surprised by the reaction to my preaching on the topic of sex. I've finished 3 of the series of 8 sermons. I've gotten both verbal and email responses saying that people have appreciated my broaching the topic.

This is a hard topic to preach. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that there are so many ideas in my head from all my reading it can be hard to figure out how to present the info in a way that's interesting and helpful while being thoroughly biblical. Oddly, one of the hardest things to do is to use the Bible as more than a proof-text. We talked about this in the "Serving the Bread of Life" class (on preaching), that the temptation is to put one's own story into whatever text you're studying rather than letting the Bible speak for itself and help to order all the stuff that's in one's own head/life.

Sorry if I lost some of you with that last sentence. My point is: pray for me because I want this to be a series that is both biblical and relevant. I don't want to wag fingers or give legalistic advice. I want the proclamation of the Word to be a way for God to work in all of our lives, i.e., top be a means of grace. So thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Now back to studying for this Sunday...

Saturday, October 6, 2007

God's business God's way

I had breakfast with Dave Evans on Thursday. Man, my head was swimming with all the ideas he was throwing at me! Not only does he talk a blue streak, but there's a lot of good ideas in that blue streak. The big idea was that God is present in everything and everywhere and our job is to see him and cooperate with what he is doing. Jesus said this in John 5, that he only did what he saw the Father doing. And that's the secret of being a "contemplative in action" (Ignatius of Loyola's phrase, founder of the Jesuits).

So the question is: why do we act in most of our planning meetings as though God isn't present? And I'm talking about church meetings, too. We may start and end with a prayer, but we don't think that God is much concerned with the way that we do business or how we conduct ourselves. Surely he just wants us to get the work done. Isn't efficiency and productiveness the name of the game? Or is it?

What would our meetings be like if we really believed that God was present in our meetings, that he was at work in each of us, and in our group that's meeting? That he might be more interested in making us more Christ-like than in creating a list of action items? That the more Christ-like we are (both as individuals and as a group), the more likely we'll be able to figure out exactly what we're supposed to be doing? And the greater the likelihood that we'll be able to do it?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Asian spirituality

I attended a bi-monthly meeting of Asian American pastors last Thursday (the South Bay chapter of the Asian American Bay Area Fellowship). It's always encouraging to get together with other pastors, especially if we're being honest about our struggles and not just tooting our own horns about how well our churches are doing.

When we first started AABA Fellowship 15 years ago, it was virtually all Chinese American pastors. Last Thursday, of the 7 who made it to the meeting, 3 were Korean, 3 were Chinese and 1 was Japanese. And the Koreans were definitely the most vocal. (One of the Chinese and the Japanese were really late, anyway.) The Korean church in America seems to be growing steadily and I know several Chinese churches that have hired Korean pastors to work with their youth or English-speaking congregations because there's a lack of Chinese seminary graduates and pastors.

What makes the Koreans so fervent in Christian spirituality? One answer would be the relatively recent history of Korean immigration to the US relative to Chinese immigration (the 80s were the heyday of Korean immigration). Korean cultural identity is related to Christian piety because of the strength of the Christian Church in Korea. And recent immigrants always hang on tightly to any expression of cultural identity as a way of keeping a sense of identity in a new land. Another would be the emphasis on fervency especially in prayer. That fervency is a legacy of shamanistic Korean religion that was co-opted by Korean Christianity.

I don't have a final answer on this. But it's a question that greatly interests me as I look for ways to reach out to the very complex group that is "Asian American". I'd like to know more about Japanese and Vietnamese and Filipino and Hmong spirituality, Christian and otherwise. I'm not looking for excuses for how hard it is to reach Asian Americans with the gospel, but for ways to express the gospel message in culturally relevant ways and then allow for a deeply authentic love for God and the world that God loves.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

a prayer request for Pastor Brian

Pastor Brian is in Sacramento today. He's in a class on "History and theology of the Covenant" that started yesterday and continues through next Thursday. This is the longest and most intensive class for orientation and ordination. I went through it in 2000. It's kind of like Covenant boot camp: you feel bonded to the other students who endure the class with you.

So pray for Pastor Brian as he concentrates on the huge amount of material that the class covers. And pray for his family. It's tough to be away for so long (even though he'll be back for the weekend) and I know they miss him.

eye hand coordination

The town hall meeting on Monday was the best-attended yet (I think). The topic at hand probably stimulated a lot of interest: the budget. Dialog was robust (to say the least), and got me thinking about the relationship between the leadership team and the rest of the church community.

I think Paul nailed it in 1 Cor. 12 when he described the relationship between the head and the rest of the body (it helps to be divinely inspired). There've been a lot of thoughts going on inside the head (the leadership team) but they haven't been communicated well to the rest of the body. So the rest of the body has been unable to act in a coordinated way with the head's intentions. When the leadership team communicates clearly, the rest of the body has responded admirably (as in the case of the overwhelming response to the appeal to complete the internship fund).

The head also needs communication from the rest of the body. Although the head sets the direction, there are lots of adjustments that have to made along the way. The head may say, "Walk down this path so we can get home." Then the left foot has to let the head know, "I'm on the ground now, it's time for the other foot to move forward." Or the foot may say, "I'm in the mud! Flail the arms to get us balanced!" You get the picture.

One caveat: it helps for the communication to be gracious and appropriate. I appreciated the apologies that were voiced on Monday. It's not helpful when the communication to the head or the hand arrives in the form of stabbing pain. The natural response is to attend to the pain rather than a coordinated effort to move forward. I trust we will learn to communicate more graciously in these public meetings so that apologies aren't needed as much in the future.

The town hall meetings and community meetings are opportunities for communication between the leadership team and the rest of the body, but not the only ones. Let's utilize well all of the venues we have and also create new ones, keeping up what Bossidy & Charan ("Execution: the discipline of getting things done") call "robust dialog".

Sunday, September 23, 2007

who woulda thunk?

It was a slow news week, so I decided to create some news. Actually, it's something I've always wanted to do, but since my daughters both decided to go ahead and do it, I thought, why not? So I did it, too: I got my ear pierced and I now have a nice little gold cross adorning my left ear.

It's really interesting to note people's reactions. Some are amused, some are repulsed, some are mystified. Winnie calls it my "midlife crisis". A grandmother who visits our church regularly stopped me in the hall and told me, "It's beautiful!" Someone else told me it fit my persona, but was a bit unusual for someone in my stage of life (was that code for "but at YOUR age?!")

I guess it all highlights something that we all know, but often try to deny: what we do with our bodies has meaning. We are embodied spirits, i.e., our bodies and spirits are integrally connected. "I can worship with my mind and heart, I don't really need to actually bow down or raise my hands." "Sure, I'm not at Sunday worship with everyone, but I'm there in spirit." But we need our bodies to cultivate spiritual habits. That's what's so hard about spiritual disciplines: they require physical discipline, not just good intentions. Our character is shaped by what we do, not by what we think. "Faith without works is dead."

So I wonder what sort of spiritual meaning would have been expressed by getting my nose pierced...?

Friday, September 21, 2007

sex or money?

As I've been preparing the first of my series of sermons on sex ("Exposed"), the thought occurred to me: do American Christians need more sermons about sex or about money? I preached 3 sermons on money (the sermon series "Priceless") and the series on sex will be 8 sermons. Which topic should get more coverage?

When I tell people I'm going to preach on sex, I usually get a "good for you!" response. It seems that people think there's a need for sermons that tackle the topic head on. I agree. But why don't I get the same response when I say that I'm going to preach a series on money?

My hunch is that we THINK we know how to handle money. Especially if we're Asian American, we probably think we're extra good at handling money (at least according to the mainstream American stereotypes, but don't get me started on the myth of the "model minority").

But if God were to monitor our spending habits and our attitudes toward money (especially the latter), I think we'd fall pretty far short. The difference between our self-perceptions about money and sex is that we think we've got money figured out but we're conflicted about sex. Our parents told us one thing about sex (if not in words, at least by their arched brows) and American society (via television and movies) is telling us something different. About money, they both seem to agree that having a lot of money is good and makes you significant and how you get it isn't all that important.

So the next time I preach on money and sex, I may need to do 3 sermons on sex and 8 on money.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

be a pencil

How do you think God can use your job skills? In the latest issue of the Covenant Companion (our award-winning denominational magazine) is an article called, "Be a pencil in the hand of God."

The author relates a prayer that she prayed as she wondered how to use her passions and skills for God: "Okay God. This is your entire fault. You gave me a passion for science and a heart for your people in the poorest parts of the world. I don't understand how these two things go together, but if you show me, I'll do it."

After receiving a doctorate in bioanalytical chemistry, she worked for 8 years in biotech. Finally, she quit her job and used her savings to start a non-profit called Science with a Mission, Inc. SMI is working to produce simple, affordable tests for diseases common in poor parts of the world. The article is a wonderful story of how God provides.

But the kicker is that at the end of the article Alynne MacLean shares that she has multiple sclerosis (guess she sorta overlooked this in the earlier part of the article). I was amazed that someone with a disease that is aggravated by tropical climates would devote her life to helping people in those climates.

What have I sacrificed to spread the Gospel? Are my passions so in line with God's love for the world that I would give up my own health to be used by God to serve others?

Alpha

After a couple of years' hiatus, Alpha is rolling again, thanks to the efforts of Pastor Brian and the Alpha team. It would be typical to think about how much of an impact Grace Community can have on seekers and new Christians by reaching out through Alpha. But on our Anniversary Sunday I was thinking about the tremendous impact that Alpha has had on Grace Community, how so many Alpha alumni have done so much at Grace (your pictures were up front in the slide show!). Alpha deserves all the support we can give it. Many, many thanks to those of you who are helping out with everything from facilitating discussion to serving dinner. What you're doing now will have an impact on both the Alpha guests and on us as a church community.

God sighting - CYES

In our staff meeting on Tuesday I found out from Wendy that one of the teachers at Champion Youth Education Services, the after-school program that uses 701 E. Meadow on weekday afternoons, is a Christian and is looking for ways to utilize his position to spread the Gospel. I guess I'd always assumed that any influence for God on CYES would have to come from us. Who would've thought that it would start as an "inside job"? Guess God got there first. Let's pray for CYES and that our relationship with them to be a source of grace.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

finances

The leadership team has worked hard to face the financial challenge in front of us. And so has the Holy Spirit.

In order to retain our family ministries intern while remaining financially responsible, we let you know exactly what the financial need was and asked you to participate in meeting that need. People did step forward and contributed so that after a week the internship was over half funded. And then in the last couple of days, 2 anonymous donors, unknown to each other, offered matching grants that more than covered the remainder.

The numbers are significant, but what impresses me is the fact that there are people who want to encourage other people to give. They don't have the opportunity that I do to address the church community on Sundays, so they've let their generosity be their sermon. Part of their statement is that we're in this together, that this is a community effort. In an individualistic society in which money is a taboo topic, it's great to see finances used to encourage us to do something together.

anniversary thoughts

Tomorrow we're celebrating our ninth anniversary as a church community (the actual date was Sept. 13). As I've been thinking about this anniversary, it's occurred to me that we are entering the year before our 10th anniversary. True, I'm not the most brilliant mathematician, but the significance of this is about more than just simple arithmetic.

I remember when we started Grace Community in our living room and were dreaming the vision that God gave us. There were a bunch of numbers attached to the vision, but it was all about what we'd look like in our tenth year. So now I'm thinking about what we'll look like in our twentieth year. That original vision was developed as a way of directing us in our first decade. And now I see this coming year as a time to develop our direction for the next decade.

To be honest, I don't think any of the leadership team (including myself) has a clear picture of where we'll be after the second decade. The only one who does is God. So that's who we should be consulting. This coming year needs to be about discerning together what God has in mind for us. It needs to be a year of prayer and preparation. Not intercessory asking prayer, but contemplative listening prayer. We need to know what is on God's heart and how that applies to the specific time and place in which he's put us.

There's lots to celebrate and I'm looking forward to the year-in-review slide show and congratulatory words from our superintendent, Evelyn Johnson. I was just telling my kids after bedtime prayers that if we hadn't been used by God to start this church community they wouldn't have all the friends that they do now. God's brought a lot of great people into our lives through this work of his called Grace Community. And I know that I can trust his plans for our future to be good plans, full of blessing for us so that we can be a blessing to this world that he loves and for which his Son gave his life.

God sightings

I met with Susan and Bich on Thursday, our regular monthly meeting about prayer ministry at Grace Community. It's been building slowly, but momentum for prayer ministry is starting to become more noticeable. It did my heart good to see people coming up for prayer a couple of Sundays ago when we had a special emphasis on prayer ministry. All of the prayer helpers made themselves available (instead of the usual 2) and were kept busy for half an hour after worship. I know there was a lot of healing and sustaining grace activated in a lot of people's lives that day.

What's the next step? To hear the stories of how God's healing and grace are at work. If you have a "God-sighting" story, let Bich or Susan know through the feedback card or by emailing prayer@graceconnections.com.

But back to our meeting. We set in motion a plan to provide prayer covering for every ministry at Grace. The details will be coming together over the next month. In the meantime, don't wait for a newsletter or prayer sheet. Find out a little about what's going on in a ministry that you care about, whether it's singles, kids, local involvements or global involvements. Then pray for that ministry. And don't forget to report your own "God-sighting" when you see God at work.

J2M thoughts

At the cluster retreat on Tuesday and reminiscing last night with Sam & Angela the topic of the Journey to Mosaic came up (if you don't know what I'm talking about check out www.pswc.org and click on the bus or click here). It made me realize that there are a lot of misconceptions about the trip. And that people get excited about it when they find out what it's really like.

Some Asian Americans think it's pointless to rehearse again the inequities of the past. But the trip isn't about downloading data points. It's about processing the data and finding hope for the future. Maybe it's just typically Asian to think that nobody cares and that nothing will get done and so we should just eat the bitterness and work harder at proving ourselves. But that's not the biblical approach. If one member of the body hurts, we all hurt (1 Cor. 12:25). And we must both bear each other's burdens and carry our own load (Gal. 6:1-2). Which is to say that Asian Americans have hurts in our past, but so do African Americans and Hispanics and Native Americans and even people in the white majority. So we must all confess and forgive. That's the process by which we will find healing (James 5:16).

That's what makes the Journey so unique. It's an opportunity to really hear each other's stories, to vent in a safe environment, to be challenged with new information, to do whatever it takes so that the Holy Spirit can give us all a greater desire to proclaim and live out the Gospel of God's desire to reconcile the world to himself.

So consider going on the Journey, even if you consider yourself an expert in American and/or California history. It's not just about the past, it's for the future. And for the Kingdom.

Friday, August 31, 2007

leadership team mtg reflections

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since my last post. I'm definitely not in the habit of blogging yet. But I'm trying: pray for me! And speaking of prayer...

On Monday we had our longest meeting yet under Kenny's tenure as Grace Community's chair: we didn't finish till almost 11 pm. Why? We want to present a sound budget for FY2008 (starting in October). We discussed the church's goals and vision and how the budget can reflect that while being fiscally responsible. I was impressed with the robustness of the dialog. Everything was on the table with no hidden agendas. And it was built on a foundation of solid biblical reflections on leadership in Kenny's devotional.

Thanks to all of you who are praying for us as we continue to face this financial challenge. We realize that there's still a lot of work to do, so we've postponed the town hall and community meetings so that we have more time. Please pray for ministry teams that still need to submit their budgets. Pray for Mike as he guides the process for the ministry teams. Pray that by the end of September we'll raise the $19,500 that's needed for our internship fund so that we can keep Sarah with us. Pray for the leadership team meeting on 9/17 as we put together the draft of the budget. Pray for the town hall meeting (9/24) when we present the budget for the first time and get further input. And pray for the community meeting (9/29) when we vote on the budget.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

teaching

On Monday I was at a meeting in Walnut Creek to develop a teaching seminar for pastors and church staff in the Covenant as part of the "Sustaining Pastoral Excellence" initiative. I was surprised when I was asked to be part of the team and then I was anxious. I wasn't sure what I brought to the table and I didn't want to do it because I would just be gaining notoriety as a teacher of teachers. So I let the leader know I was there to observe. But I really enjoyed being part of the team. I was impressed with the material that had already been gathered for the pilot event at the Midwinter conference in February (the annual conference for Covenant leaders: about 1000 attend every year) and I really engaged with it and added a lot to the discussion. And I was impressed that the seminar was being offered in the spirit of being co-learners, not as experts. So I did offer to help teach at least one of the 4 seminars that will be offered in the coming year.

I was also impressed with the efforts on the part of the Covenant to help church leaders. The attitude is that the denomination exists to serve local churches and leaders, not vice versa. I'm glad to be part of such a denomination.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

what I worry about

I haven't posted for a while because our family was on vacation. We really enjoyed Family Camp 5 at Mt. Hermon Christian Conference Center (sorry 'bout that Mission Springs).

I appreciate having a guest speaker step in to preach today so that I could really enjoy the vacation and not worry about preparing a sermon. He said some very helpful things about "living in the question of worry" (sermon downloads are available on the Grace website's resources page). What do I worry about? I went up for prayer today because I'm worried about preaching a sermon series on money. I'm not very good at speaking about something that's so down-to-earth and practical. But how we handle money says a lot about how we are following Christ. Jesus talked a lot about money, so I guess I'd better learn how.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

town hall mtg thoughts

I just came home from our second town hall meeting about the budget deficit. For the first time, Grace is facing a serious deficit. By the end of FY2007 (end of Sept. 2007) our treasurer is projecting a $67K deficit. We won't be bankrupt (we have reserves) but we won't meet our budget for FY2007.

We talked about short-term, intermediate, and long-term solutions. It was helpful for the LT to listen to the people who attended and we got the sense of the variety of people's approaches to church finances. Two things struck me. First, outreach is essential to the health of a church community. But in order to have effective outreach we need to know who we're trying to reach. And that's the second thing: we need to pray so that we'll know who God wants us to reach.

An important impetus for starting this blog was the mysterious disappearance of the file containing the email distribution list for the original Grace Notes. I lost an important way to ask people to pray for Grace Community. This blog will hopefully alert people to the need to pray for Grace. Pray for our financial situation, but more importantly pray that we will know who God wants us to reach and that our hearts would beat with His to the point that we'll put forward whatever is necessary, including our finances, to accomplish God's purposes.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

on prayer

On Sunday (7/29) I spoke on the need for examples of both contemplative and intercessory prayer in our life together as a church community. I forgot to mention a recently answered prayer that's blessed our family. Last Friday (7/20) Josh was diagnosed with HSP (vasculitis caused by the body's reaction to an infection) which was causing him a lot of joint and intestinal pain. The doctor said it could last for a few days or a few months. We didn't get much sleep on Wednesday , Thursday or Saturday nights and I left Winnie home with him on Sunday, not expecting to see them at church. But they showed up and Winnie brought Josh forward for prayer. That night Josh slept pain-free and has been free of all symptoms since. It's a perfect example of how God works through intercessory prayer.