parenting teens

My last post reminded me of two books that I recommend for parents of teens.

Eugene Peterson's "Like dew your youth" has the strangest title I've ever heard of for a book on parenting. And in that vein it's different from every other book on parenting. Peterson reflects on the experience of having raised three sons and points out that God is at work in the parents, too. So he writes about the changes that God worked in his own life and calls the reader to attend to what God is doing in her/his own life.

Kenda Creasy Dean worked on the National Study on Youth and Religion headed up by Christian Smith at the University of North Carolina. She concludes that the American Christian church is raising our adolescents to be "Almost Christian". She takes this title from George Whitefield, who wrote: "An almost Christian… is one that… is fond of the form, but never experiences the power of godliness in his heart." The book is both a warning and a guide to parents and churches who want our youth know the "power of godliness".

good writing

I came across the following two passages recently. I rarely read books one at a time. I have several that I'm reading at one time. Maybe it's a kind of ADD, one that's gotten more pronounced as I get older.

Nonetheless, a good book is a window that lets you see the world the author sees. The better the book the bigger the world that is glimpsed. And sitting with a good book also illumines the reader's life in new ways.

The first passage is from a book of blessings/poems by John O'Donohue called "To bless the space between us". This is part of a blessing called "For your birthday."

On this echoing-day of your birth
May you open the gift of solitude
In order to receive your soul;
Enter the generosity of silence
To hear your hidden heart;
Know the serenity of stillness
To be enfolded anew
By the miracle of your being.

The second passage is from Marilynne Robinson's book "Gilead." An old preacher is writing to his son, born in his old age, who is still a child. The old preacher hasn't long to live.

This week I intend to preach on Genesis 231:14-21, which the story of Hagar and Ishmael...
"…I found a great assurance in it. The story says that it is not only the father of a child who cares for its life, who protects its mother, and it says that even if the mother can't find a way to provide for it, or herself, provision will be made. At that level it is a story full of comfort. That is how life goes--we send our children into the wilderness. Some of them on the day they are born, it seems, for all the help we can give them. Some of them seem to be a kind of wilderness unto themselves. But there must be angels there, too, and springs of water. Even that wilderness, the very habitation of jackals, is the Lord's. I need to bear this in mind.

memorials

I saw a mission-style building across the street. I went over to investigate.

The small chapel was designated as a special building by the State of California. It was built in 1912 and was inspired by the California missions. It was beautiful and clean and well-kept. And it was empty and locked up. There wasn't a single car in the parking lot.

Ironically, a statue of the Virgin Mary "who welcomes all" had just been placed at the site in May 2012 to mark the centennial of the building of this chapel. Obviously, this chapel meant something special to some group of people. But the legacy of this chapel was in the past. It was no longer a place of welcome. I know: I tried all the doors.

Churches can become memorials to the past. It's easy to look back on a time when things were really alive, when we welcomed people, when people came because they knew the Spirit was moving. But God doesn't want the Church to be about legacies. He wants the Church to be alive with the transforming power of the Spirit. Instead of erecting memorials to past times, let's cooperate with what God is doing today. And let's welcome people to join us as we participate in the transforming work of the Spirit.

rest

Jesus wants to give us rest. The world wants us to work harder. Who will we listen to?

This past week I was at a "learning community" for pastors who want to learn a new way to pastor. After hearing a local pastor speak about how he has learned to lead by practicing listening to God in all of his meetings, we were given 20 minutes of solitude to reflect on what had been shared. This was a very different learning community. It had started with a time of worship that included silence. And now instead of a time of Q&A or discussion, we were to find a place to sit with God and let him speak to us about what we had heard.

My first feeling was one of guilt and/or shame. I could hear inner voices telling me that I had time to listen to God but that's not efficient, that the leaders of Grace Community didn't have time to do things this way. So when I got back to my office I should put aside this nonsense and be productive, as would be expected of a good church leader.

And then I realized that this wasn't God's voice, it was the world's. I have a lot of things to do, but I had made time to be at this learning community. I had set other things aside so that I could hear God's voice. That wasn't something to be guilty or ashamed of.

Jesus calls me to come to him when I am weary and over-stressed. He wants to give me rest. The work of transformation in the lives of people at Grace Community is his work. If I take on his way of doing things, I will find rest for my soul. This isn't something to feel guilty about. It is a gift to receive gladly and gratefully. The world is trying to make me feel ashamed for finding rest. Jesus wants to lead me beside quiet waters and restore my soul.

Who am I going to listen to?