Saturday, August 11, 2012

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I miss your warm smile. I miss the way you enjoyed small things. You could spot a blessing that the rest of us missed because we were too jaded by big or expensive or new. I miss how you sometimes laughed so hard you could hardly talk to tell us what was so funny. You knew that the best things in life are free. So if something cost too much it became suspect. Cheap and simple equaled good.

I wish I had talked to you more about your memories. You were full of wisdom that came from walking closely with God for many years. It was a wisdom that was hard-won, born of both devotion and conflict. The Bible was always your compass. I wish I had asked more and listened more.

I am just starting to appreciate how deeply you loved God. Everything you did was infused with God and love for God. He was the air you breathed. And when you could barely breathe he inhaled you into himself. And now you are part of the air that I breathe.

Your loving son, Steve

Hear, my son, and accept my sayings
And the years of your life will be many.
I have directed you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in upright paths.
Prov 4:10-11

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

art appreciation

We have framed prints in our house that we put up because we liked them and they were painted or photographed by geniuses: Monet, Ansel Adams, Miro. But they've become decoration. We walk by them every day, but the reasons that we put them up have been forgotten.

When someone close to you dies it's like a chance to stop and look at a masterpiece again and really appreciate it. I've known my Dad all my life. I'm familiar with so many of his idiosyncrasies. But I'm seeing him in a new way now and it's changing the way that I want to live my life.

I've always known that he was focused on loving Jesus and sharing the Gospel. But now I'm seeing how these two things gave purpose to his life and changed his approach to everything. I might be focused on enjoying a restaurant's food while he would be looking for a way to talk about Jesus with the wait staff. Now that I have this time to ponder his life, I see the many people that were brought into God's Kingdom through him and the satisfaction this gave him, and I'm beginning to see the overall design and appreciate the genius of his life.