calling

I’ve been wondering why President Obama seems different to me than the two presidents who’ve preceded him. I’m now realizing that it’s because of something that can be summed up in one word: calling. Unlike Presidents Bush and Clinton, President Obama seems to understand that his new job is not a means to power, but that it is a calling in itself, that there’s a task that must be done simply because it is a noble, if difficult, task. That sense of calling made his inaugural speech reference to George Washington compelling and not merely sentimental. Without it, The Onion is right in snidely remarking that America has now given it’s worst job to a black man (“a black man can’t catch a break” they wrote on 11/5/08). But with a sense of calling there is dignity and determination in tackling the most powerful office in the world.

Is my job a calling or a means to my own ends? I may not desire power, but I surely have a desire for happiness and comfort. It might be appalling to think that some pastors look at their job as simply a means to get a paycheck so that they and their families can live comfortably, but I’ve heard the accusation before (I’ve had an awkward moment when a leadership team member told me that his job was to keep me from becoming so powerful that I could influence my paycheck.) And that same accusation can be leveled at many of us who look at our jobs, whether as employees or as spouses or parents or whatever it is that gives us the tasks for the day, as something other than work that is given to us by God because it is worthwhile work to do.

So when in his inaugural speech Pres. Obama referred to his oath of office as a “sacred oath” I hope he meant it (history will tell). And I hope I will come to have a similar sense of calling that will give dignity and determination to the work that God has called me to do each day, whether it’s washing dishes or writing code or picking up the kids or participating in a meeting (OK, so I don’t write code: I do the other three). As the Book of Common Prayer teaches us to pray each day: “…and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of Your purposes.”

change

My kids had the day off from school today, so I took the day off, too. That gave me the luxury of waking up and watching the pre-inaugural TV coverage starting at 6:30 am PST, and then watching the actual inauguration of Pres. Barack Obama with my family (except for my 6 year old who was downstairs watching cartoons: we'll kid him about that for the rest of his life, I'm sure).

I can't add anything to what's already been said about the gravity of this day for the history of this country. I hope that I was able to transmit to my kids something of how I feel about the historic significance of what we saw. Two nights ago I was chatting over dinner about the recent protests in Oakland over the shooting of an unarmed black man by a BART policeman. The contrast between the two televised events is striking. As Pres. Obama's election campaign reminded us, change is certainly needed.

best, better, good

Anyone who’s been to a management/leadership seminar (and this includes pastoral leadership seminars) has heard this aphorism: “The good is the enemy of the best.” But is that how God wants us to live our lives, i.e., never content, always striving and pushing and driven? Do we know how to live in the goodness of each moment? Today (at a prayer retreat) a friend shared with me this counter-aphorism: “The better is the enemy of the good.”

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

spiritual optometrics

A lot of leadership gurus make a big deal about having a “vision statement”. As a lead pastor, I do recognize that it’s important to have a vision for our church community. That’s why the leadership team spent a lot of time in conversation with God, the people of Grace, and each other about our vision for the next 10 years. And God gave us Dave Evans and the Veritas workshop to help us see that we are “becoming like Jesus together.”

But there’s another definition of vision. In his book “Connecting” Larry Crabb says that we need to develop vision for each person that we connect with. We need to see each other with God’s eyes and sense the possibilities that God has created for each other so that we can help each other reach for those possibilities.

As a church leader I find myself working to keep these two kinds of vision in balance. If I’m too driven by the vision for the church, I’ll lose the compassionate touch that marked Jesus’ ministry. But if I’m too wrapped up in the concerns of individuals I can lose sight of where God is taking us as a community. The tension of leadership is balancing these two kinds of vision. Too much of one or the other makes you either too driven or direction-less.

This came home to me in my men’s group last night as we discussed the issue of human trafficking. The issue is so big, but the work of liberation and healing happens one person at a time. In the presentations at Grace on Sunday about mission work done in Thailand and China it was the stories of how the Gospel touched the lives of individuals that grabbed our hearts. Yet the fact that we had two people able to engage in such work was possible because someone had a vision that resulted in a mission organization.

I guess I need spiritual bifocals. I need God’s help to see both the big picture and the close-up needs of individuals. And I need the discernment to know which needs my immediate attention.

why I'm a lousy blogger

OK, I admit that I don’t make very many entries in my blog. I know some people post blog entries, not just daily, but 2 or 3 times a day (and then there’s Twittering). I considered making a New Year’s resolution to make more blog entries. But I decided not to. First, I’m a husband and a dad with kids aged 6, 8 and 10. That takes up both time and energy (and I just turned 50, which, amazingly enough, means that I don’t have more energy than I did 10 years ago).

But more importantly, I can’t blog about everything. There are things that happen in our church community that might make for juicy gossip or blog fodder, but don’t belong on a public forum like a blog. These are events that are formative in people’s lives and the way they’re handled has a lot to do with how people will be formed. They’re still in process and deserve to have that process worked out without being submitted to public judgment outside our church family. Second, I’m uncomfortable writing about things that are still in process in my own life. I guess I still want the opportunity to work out my issues in the privacy of my church family, too.

Blogs are like photo albums (or Flickr streams). I don’t want to publish a photo of someone that will be embarrassing for them later. So I may post what I find to be an interesting “nature shot”, a rumination on the state of affairs in the world, but I hesitate to make the entries too personal (for me or others). And my comments about people are like studio photos: kind of staged and artificial, but definitely not embarrassing or too revealing.

So I’m not a blogger “paparrazzi”: I’m not after the sensational candid shot that will grab attention for a few minutes at someone’s expense (including mine). Nor am I writing a public diary. But, hey, it is what it is. Happy reading.

prayer cuisine

Each morning when we wake up Winnie and I say a prayer together from the family devotions in the Book of Common Prayer. We’ve done this for over a year now so it’s well-memorized. Of course, there are the occasional brain glitches that result in stumbling over a word or phrase, but generally it pretty much trips off the tongue. It’s a good way to start off the day since it’s a better prayer than I could come up with at 6:30 in the morning, especially if I’ve had to comfort a crying kid at 2 am the night before. In fact, that particular prayer has been a source of comfort and strength for me at other times of the day, and it's rich enough to be an almost inexhaustible fountain for meditation.

Prayer can be as simple as “help!” or “thanks”. If I’m asked to pray aloud without prior preparation, I usually put together a combination of riffs based on prayers I’ve heard before. This isn’t to say that a prayer composed on the spot isn’t sincere. It’s just that composing a well thought-out, meaningful prayer isn’t easy.

So I’ve come to value prayers that have had a lot of thought put into them by people who are masters of Christian spirituality and of the English language. The question is, how do I pray them? In the world of prayer cuisine, “help!” is fast food and a prayer from the Book of Common Prayer is haute cuisine (and I suppose an extemporaneous prayer is leftovers). Unfortunately, it’s easy for me to gulp down a rote prayer as if it were fast food. But if I really want to get the most out of it, a previously written prayer is meant to be savored, chewed slowly so that my soul can access its full flavor and nourishment.

thoughts on faith

Today I heard someone say, “The longer we have something, the less we think we need to trust God for it.” That goes for everything: money, intelligence, health, safety, whatever. With the economy going downhill fast and many losing jobs, homes, and savings, our trust in ourselves is being severely shaken. But maybe that’s a good thing: it’s time to start trusting God again.

This is the third week of Advent. Advent is about preparation, a time of increasing our awareness of how much we need God. This morning I read a prayer from an Advent prayer calendar: “Mary put all of her trust in God without having to know why. Help us Lord to trust even when we don’t have any idea of how things will work out.” Mary reminds me that I tend to put things in the wrong order: I think “I’ll wait to do more of what God says when I’m more settled” when the best time to “practice my faith” is exactly when things are unsettled. I'm supposed to be waiting for God, not waiting to get my life in order.

I had a great conversation with the leader of my men’s group last night about stretching my faith, about doing things that I may think I don’t have enough time or money or ability to do and then trusting that God will show up. Things like tithing (giving an actual tenth of my pre-tax income) or taking time out of my busy schedule to help out at a homeless shelter or going out on a limb and volunteering to teach Sunday School or lead a growth group. He challenged me to exercise more faith.

That last thought might surprise you: “A pastor needs to learn about exercising faith?” A couple weeks ago I had a conversation with the pastor of a new church plant about the difference between leading and controlling. Maybe the difference is faith: who do I think is in charge, me or God?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6.