As we sang “My Jesus I love Thee” in worship yesterday, I was moved. We had commissioned the Chongsiriwatana family to serve God in Thailand. Fred had just challenged us to have a serious DTR with God. Obviously, loving Jesus meant sacrifice and service.
Later that afternoon my family was getting on my nerves and I was grumpily doing chores around the house. And then I thought again about what it means to love Jesus. Loving Jesus means serious self-examination, living out of conviction and serving him in faraway countries. But it also means quietly serving my family. It also means asking God for the grace to be kind and patient when I don’t feel like it.
And loving Jesus means loving his Church, loving my church, loving even the individuals in my church who irritate me and disagree with me. It means putting aside complaining. It means doing whatever he shows me to help build up these people and this community that he loves.
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (1 John 4:19-21)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
NHPB journal
A week ago I was in Washington DC for the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast. Here are some thoughts that I jotted down as I reflected on the experience on the plane ride home.
May 10. On the shuttle from the airport to my hotel I chatted with a fellow passenger. She was the head of her realtor association in a Bay Area county. We were both in DC for conferences and visits with legislators, but she made the trek every year and this was my first time. We listened to news about the floods in Memphis and I remarked that I had been in Biloxi to help with rebuilding after the floods resulting from the hurricanes in 2005. She said that she had just been in Biloxi to encourage government to do more to help homeowners. That was when it hit me that I had an understanding of doing works of mercy, but influencing government officials to act justly was unfamiliar to me. But both are needed. My fundamentalist upbringing encouraged me to remain separate from the world. My Chinese heritage distrusted government and preferred to use the “back door” of relationships instead of the front door of official channels. But this conversation opened my eyes to see that swinging a hammer isn’t enough, that speaking up in the halls of power is also needed. I had made the trip partly because of the tourist appeal of seeing President Obama. God was starting to open my heart to the work that was needing to be done.
That afternoon I received instruction on how to speak to a legislator. I found that conferees would be divided into groups according to the states we lived in so that we could let the lawmakers know that we were their constituents. I received information about Esperanza’s stance on immigration reform and the state of education resources for Hispanics. I learned that Esperanza is anti-amnesty, and for strong borders, verifiable employment status and compassionate treatment of families while still being tough on enforcement of immigration status. This knowledge prepared us to visit the many freshman legislators who had been elected by socially and fiscally conservative voters.
That evening we learned about how many Hispanics were being adversely affected by the housing downturn, losing homes to foreclosure while being targeted by scam artists. We wanted to let legislators know that resources to help Hispanic homeowners keep their homes would pay dividends in the future because immigrants tend to be hardworking and diligent in pursuing the American dream.
May 11. We had to get up early to attend a breakfast briefing in one of the Senate office buildings and then be addressed by Newt Gingrich. His agenda was clear once he disclosed that he was going to officially announce his run for the Presidency that afternoon. In order to appeal to the over 200 mostly Hispanic voters, he began by addressing us in Spanish. Then he argued that he had a strategy for passing immigration reform legislation that was more likely to succeed than the President’s. It made me realize that being in DC was no mean feat. The people in these halls of power are bright and articulate and resolute. And they care about people. But being in DC can isolate a person from the very people that a lawmaker is there to help.
The most striking moment for me was the prayer that was said as we prepared to make our “Hill visits”. The meeting was closed with a prayer that we would be empowered as prophets of old. I realized that I was in DC to “speak truth to power.” I was there to remind the lawmakers of the challenges that their constituents were facing and to suggest ways they could help, primarily by developing and passing laws to fix an extremely broken immigration system while also giving our country secure borders.
I made three visits to the offices of members of the House. All were Republicans: a freshman, a multiple-termer, and the House majority whip. We spoke to staffers who would later be informing the members of their constituents’ perspective. It was a bit counter-intuitive, but the more powerful the member, the more open and reasonable their staffer. The freshman member’s staffer was firm that no immigration reform legislation would be passed by this Congress because jobs and budget were too important. We heard this line all three times, but the more seasoned staffers seemed to understand that it was important to hear us out, even if they disagreed with our agenda.
It was a little comical that in the most powerful member’s office our visiting team consisted of no Hispanics, an African American, an Anglo, and an Asian American. But our team worked well together and the assistant chief of staff, was amiable and open. He shared the misgivings of his party so that we could respond and encourage partnership from a standpoint of shared values, even if the strategy wasn’t yet agreed upon. It was in that meeting that I felt most comfortable, allowing my enjoyment of dialog to be a vehicle for the Spirit to give voice to a prophetic message that was needed in that place. And I felt the value and need for working for justice in the halls of power as well as doing acts of mercy among people who are hurting.
After the visits we attended a briefing by senior White House staff, informing us of what the Cabinet members were doing to help the Hispanic community in many areas, including housing, employment, food, and education resources. I realized how important it is to get the word out about the resources that the government is offering. Part of our church’s community involvement could surely include connecting people in need to resources that are already available. As a taxpayer, I don’t want the government spending an inordinate amount of money on advertising campaigns. On the other hand, I don’t want resources that could improve our neighborhoods going to waste. For example, instead of complaining about the high rate of foreclosures, I could help connect people with counseling to help them avoid foreclosure. That helps raise my property values, gets us out of the current credit crisis sooner, and increases overall wealth and economic health for the good of all. It seems like a no-brainer but I’d never thought of it before.
May 12. We had to arrive at 5:30 for a 7:00 breakfast because of the security surrounding an event involving the President. Along with checking everyone’s ID and having us go through a metal detector, we saw bomb-sniffing dogs investigate the platform. Most of us were kept at a distance by a scarlet rope, and we were aware of both highly visible armed guards and of the Secret Service, who were hardly inconspicuous in their dark suits and earpieces. It reminded me that the President is both a powerful and influential leader, and a fragile human being. The actual speech was a bit of a let-down, containing no strategic substance as to what sort of legislation he wanted to sign. He said that he couldn’t do immigration reform alone and needed our help to mobilize our congregations. But the message was a good reminder: none of us can do such important work alone. We are fallible human beings who can become blinded by the trappings of power or frustrated by the lack of a hearing for our good ideas. We need each other in order for all of us to do our jobs well.
May 10. On the shuttle from the airport to my hotel I chatted with a fellow passenger. She was the head of her realtor association in a Bay Area county. We were both in DC for conferences and visits with legislators, but she made the trek every year and this was my first time. We listened to news about the floods in Memphis and I remarked that I had been in Biloxi to help with rebuilding after the floods resulting from the hurricanes in 2005. She said that she had just been in Biloxi to encourage government to do more to help homeowners. That was when it hit me that I had an understanding of doing works of mercy, but influencing government officials to act justly was unfamiliar to me. But both are needed. My fundamentalist upbringing encouraged me to remain separate from the world. My Chinese heritage distrusted government and preferred to use the “back door” of relationships instead of the front door of official channels. But this conversation opened my eyes to see that swinging a hammer isn’t enough, that speaking up in the halls of power is also needed. I had made the trip partly because of the tourist appeal of seeing President Obama. God was starting to open my heart to the work that was needing to be done.
That afternoon I received instruction on how to speak to a legislator. I found that conferees would be divided into groups according to the states we lived in so that we could let the lawmakers know that we were their constituents. I received information about Esperanza’s stance on immigration reform and the state of education resources for Hispanics. I learned that Esperanza is anti-amnesty, and for strong borders, verifiable employment status and compassionate treatment of families while still being tough on enforcement of immigration status. This knowledge prepared us to visit the many freshman legislators who had been elected by socially and fiscally conservative voters.
That evening we learned about how many Hispanics were being adversely affected by the housing downturn, losing homes to foreclosure while being targeted by scam artists. We wanted to let legislators know that resources to help Hispanic homeowners keep their homes would pay dividends in the future because immigrants tend to be hardworking and diligent in pursuing the American dream.
May 11. We had to get up early to attend a breakfast briefing in one of the Senate office buildings and then be addressed by Newt Gingrich. His agenda was clear once he disclosed that he was going to officially announce his run for the Presidency that afternoon. In order to appeal to the over 200 mostly Hispanic voters, he began by addressing us in Spanish. Then he argued that he had a strategy for passing immigration reform legislation that was more likely to succeed than the President’s. It made me realize that being in DC was no mean feat. The people in these halls of power are bright and articulate and resolute. And they care about people. But being in DC can isolate a person from the very people that a lawmaker is there to help.
The most striking moment for me was the prayer that was said as we prepared to make our “Hill visits”. The meeting was closed with a prayer that we would be empowered as prophets of old. I realized that I was in DC to “speak truth to power.” I was there to remind the lawmakers of the challenges that their constituents were facing and to suggest ways they could help, primarily by developing and passing laws to fix an extremely broken immigration system while also giving our country secure borders.
I made three visits to the offices of members of the House. All were Republicans: a freshman, a multiple-termer, and the House majority whip. We spoke to staffers who would later be informing the members of their constituents’ perspective. It was a bit counter-intuitive, but the more powerful the member, the more open and reasonable their staffer. The freshman member’s staffer was firm that no immigration reform legislation would be passed by this Congress because jobs and budget were too important. We heard this line all three times, but the more seasoned staffers seemed to understand that it was important to hear us out, even if they disagreed with our agenda.
It was a little comical that in the most powerful member’s office our visiting team consisted of no Hispanics, an African American, an Anglo, and an Asian American. But our team worked well together and the assistant chief of staff, was amiable and open. He shared the misgivings of his party so that we could respond and encourage partnership from a standpoint of shared values, even if the strategy wasn’t yet agreed upon. It was in that meeting that I felt most comfortable, allowing my enjoyment of dialog to be a vehicle for the Spirit to give voice to a prophetic message that was needed in that place. And I felt the value and need for working for justice in the halls of power as well as doing acts of mercy among people who are hurting.
After the visits we attended a briefing by senior White House staff, informing us of what the Cabinet members were doing to help the Hispanic community in many areas, including housing, employment, food, and education resources. I realized how important it is to get the word out about the resources that the government is offering. Part of our church’s community involvement could surely include connecting people in need to resources that are already available. As a taxpayer, I don’t want the government spending an inordinate amount of money on advertising campaigns. On the other hand, I don’t want resources that could improve our neighborhoods going to waste. For example, instead of complaining about the high rate of foreclosures, I could help connect people with counseling to help them avoid foreclosure. That helps raise my property values, gets us out of the current credit crisis sooner, and increases overall wealth and economic health for the good of all. It seems like a no-brainer but I’d never thought of it before.
May 12. We had to arrive at 5:30 for a 7:00 breakfast because of the security surrounding an event involving the President. Along with checking everyone’s ID and having us go through a metal detector, we saw bomb-sniffing dogs investigate the platform. Most of us were kept at a distance by a scarlet rope, and we were aware of both highly visible armed guards and of the Secret Service, who were hardly inconspicuous in their dark suits and earpieces. It reminded me that the President is both a powerful and influential leader, and a fragile human being. The actual speech was a bit of a let-down, containing no strategic substance as to what sort of legislation he wanted to sign. He said that he couldn’t do immigration reform alone and needed our help to mobilize our congregations. But the message was a good reminder: none of us can do such important work alone. We are fallible human beings who can become blinded by the trappings of power or frustrated by the lack of a hearing for our good ideas. We need each other in order for all of us to do our jobs well.
a pastor's heart
My bro-in-law Tony died suddenly on the Saturday before Easter. We were both interns under Dr. Murphy Lum 30 years ago. At Tony's memorial service in L.A. two nights ago, Pastor Lum ended with an invitation to accept Christ as savior. It was an old-fashioned altar call, albeit brief. It impressed me because it showed Dr. Lum’s heart. More than anything he wants to see people come to know Jesus. I may think his methods are old-fashioned but I can’t disagree with his heart. He is in alignment with Jesus and Paul. Jesus said that his message was to repent because the kingdom of heaven is near (Matt 4:17). Paul said that our message is to be reconciled to God (2 Cor 5:19-20). Entering the kingdom of heaven and being reconciled to God are the summum bonum of human experience, the highest good that we could experience. Wanting this for everyone that he can influence is what makes Murphy a successful pastor, regardless of attendance numbers or the size of the church building where he has an office.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
learning to worship
Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, which is also called Passion Sunday. I wanted to attend a performance of Bach’s St. Matthew Passion. I wasn’t deeply familiar with the SMP (as it’s called) so I’ve been reading about it and listening to it during Lent, allowing Bach’s re-creating of the passion of our Lord to shape my own experience of this season. I had asked my kids if any of them wanted to attend the performance with me and it was my youngest who wanted to go. I warned him that sitting through 3+ hours of Baroque choral music (in German!) would be challenging, but he insisted that he wanted to go.
He made it through about 20 minutes and then started nodding off. I let him sleep for a bit and then he woke up refreshed and made it through the rest of Part 1 alert as I whispered to him a running commentary on the music. After the intermission we changed seats and sat in the back of the large church, closer to the cool air coming from the open doors, which became our emergency exit when he needed another intermission halfway through the much longer Part 2. We came back in to enjoy the final 40 minutes. At the end we actually started the applause, during which he then bolted for the door and skipped outside yelling, “I’m free!” We were the first ones out of the parking lot.
But I experienced the SMP more deeply because of Josh. I prepared for the concert more thoroughly because I wanted to explain the piece to him. In the car beforehand I explained to him that the singers would sing words directly from the Bible, along with contemplative responses to the story, and that the chorales represented the response of the Church to the story. I brought along the score with English translation so that we could read along and I could show him things like the 11 repetitions of “Lord, is it I?” as all the disciples except Judas are portrayed musically by Bach. We were both touched as the soloist playing the role of the Evangelist depicted Peter’s devastation at realizing that he had fulfilled Jesus’ prophesy of Peter’s betrayal.
During the intermission an older gentleman asked Josh if he was a singer, what instruments he played, etc. He complimented Josh on his attendance at this performance of a piece that the gentleman obviously treasured: he told us he’s attended performances of the SMP 10-15 times. And in some ways, I think Josh had a better experience of the SMP than some bored-looking adults sitting near us who looked envious when we made our emergency exit. He experienced it as I would expect most 8 year-olds would. But we experienced it together. And that older gentleman gave us his blessing.
And I think that’s a great picture of worshiping together as a church community: kids welcome to participate as they can, with adults giving guidance and blessing. In the process, everyone is enriched as God is glorified. Soli Deo Gloria.
He made it through about 20 minutes and then started nodding off. I let him sleep for a bit and then he woke up refreshed and made it through the rest of Part 1 alert as I whispered to him a running commentary on the music. After the intermission we changed seats and sat in the back of the large church, closer to the cool air coming from the open doors, which became our emergency exit when he needed another intermission halfway through the much longer Part 2. We came back in to enjoy the final 40 minutes. At the end we actually started the applause, during which he then bolted for the door and skipped outside yelling, “I’m free!” We were the first ones out of the parking lot.
But I experienced the SMP more deeply because of Josh. I prepared for the concert more thoroughly because I wanted to explain the piece to him. In the car beforehand I explained to him that the singers would sing words directly from the Bible, along with contemplative responses to the story, and that the chorales represented the response of the Church to the story. I brought along the score with English translation so that we could read along and I could show him things like the 11 repetitions of “Lord, is it I?” as all the disciples except Judas are portrayed musically by Bach. We were both touched as the soloist playing the role of the Evangelist depicted Peter’s devastation at realizing that he had fulfilled Jesus’ prophesy of Peter’s betrayal.
During the intermission an older gentleman asked Josh if he was a singer, what instruments he played, etc. He complimented Josh on his attendance at this performance of a piece that the gentleman obviously treasured: he told us he’s attended performances of the SMP 10-15 times. And in some ways, I think Josh had a better experience of the SMP than some bored-looking adults sitting near us who looked envious when we made our emergency exit. He experienced it as I would expect most 8 year-olds would. But we experienced it together. And that older gentleman gave us his blessing.
And I think that’s a great picture of worshiping together as a church community: kids welcome to participate as they can, with adults giving guidance and blessing. In the process, everyone is enriched as God is glorified. Soli Deo Gloria.
worship together
I couldn’t “enjoy” the Good Friday service last night because I was busy explaining things to my younger kids and making sure they weren’t too noisy. And I suppose my kids and the other kids in the service were a little distracting to the adults present who didn’t have kids.
But what’s the purpose of corporate worship, especially during Holy Week? Worship isn’t merely about me having a “worship experience”. It’s about all of us, as a church community, re-telling, re-living, and re-creating the gospel, the good news that is epitomized in the events of Holy Week as we remember Jesus’ teaching us to love each other, suffering and dying for the redemption of the world, and becoming the firstfruits of the resurrection.
I’m not saying that there isn’t a time for quiet reflection in worship and that kids should be allowed to run wild during worship services. But the worship life of the church community should not be exclusively “adults only”. As Jesus said to the disapproving Pharisees on the first Palm Sunday, if the kids aren’t allowed to make some noise then the very rocks will cry out. Corporate worship is the response of the church community to God’s work in our world and in us. And it shapes us as a community (including our children), as well as shaping me as an individual.
How do I measure a “successful” worship service? By how deeply I am moved? Or how engaged my kids are? If that’s the case, then I’m probably looking at each worship service as an event in itself and as a kind of baptized entertainment venue. I’m guilty of using the same standards to measure worship as I use to measure a movie. And I’m becoming a critic instead of a participant.
Worship throughout the Christian year sets the rhythms of our life together as a family and as a church community, and shapes our identity as the people of God. So I was glad to see so many of Grace’s families attending the Good Friday service together. As parents brought their children up to the communion stations, some parents were just accompanied by their younger children while others were explaining and then administering the communion to their older children. I’m sure the kids would rather be watching cartoons or playing video games. And the parents couldn’t have a time of deep individual reflection. But it was still a holy moment. Because if we as a church community aren’t becoming more deeply the people of God, then eventually all that will be left to praise God will be the stones.
But what’s the purpose of corporate worship, especially during Holy Week? Worship isn’t merely about me having a “worship experience”. It’s about all of us, as a church community, re-telling, re-living, and re-creating the gospel, the good news that is epitomized in the events of Holy Week as we remember Jesus’ teaching us to love each other, suffering and dying for the redemption of the world, and becoming the firstfruits of the resurrection.
I’m not saying that there isn’t a time for quiet reflection in worship and that kids should be allowed to run wild during worship services. But the worship life of the church community should not be exclusively “adults only”. As Jesus said to the disapproving Pharisees on the first Palm Sunday, if the kids aren’t allowed to make some noise then the very rocks will cry out. Corporate worship is the response of the church community to God’s work in our world and in us. And it shapes us as a community (including our children), as well as shaping me as an individual.
How do I measure a “successful” worship service? By how deeply I am moved? Or how engaged my kids are? If that’s the case, then I’m probably looking at each worship service as an event in itself and as a kind of baptized entertainment venue. I’m guilty of using the same standards to measure worship as I use to measure a movie. And I’m becoming a critic instead of a participant.
Worship throughout the Christian year sets the rhythms of our life together as a family and as a church community, and shapes our identity as the people of God. So I was glad to see so many of Grace’s families attending the Good Friday service together. As parents brought their children up to the communion stations, some parents were just accompanied by their younger children while others were explaining and then administering the communion to their older children. I’m sure the kids would rather be watching cartoons or playing video games. And the parents couldn’t have a time of deep individual reflection. But it was still a holy moment. Because if we as a church community aren’t becoming more deeply the people of God, then eventually all that will be left to praise God will be the stones.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
born blind
In John 9 Jesus is asked, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus steps out of the theological corner into which his disciples have painted themselves and tells them, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.”
I’m a person who’s spiritually and emotionally blind. I’m wounded by the many blunders I’ve made: broken relationships, stupid choices, ill-conceived plans, all stemming from lack of foresight or from ignoring the data in front of me. My tendency is to either blame myself or (in the tradition of Freud) my parents. But Jesus offers me the hope that God is working through all of the mess of my life, and that he has a better design than I or my parents or anyone else around me could have imagined.
In fact, Jesus offers that hope as motivation to get out of my corner, stop licking my wounds, and move ahead with confidence that God is using me for the good of his Kingdom: “We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” As long as Jesus is my light, he can shine through me to bring light into this world.
I’m a person who’s spiritually and emotionally blind. I’m wounded by the many blunders I’ve made: broken relationships, stupid choices, ill-conceived plans, all stemming from lack of foresight or from ignoring the data in front of me. My tendency is to either blame myself or (in the tradition of Freud) my parents. But Jesus offers me the hope that God is working through all of the mess of my life, and that he has a better design than I or my parents or anyone else around me could have imagined.
In fact, Jesus offers that hope as motivation to get out of my corner, stop licking my wounds, and move ahead with confidence that God is using me for the good of his Kingdom: “We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” As long as Jesus is my light, he can shine through me to bring light into this world.
Marx or Jesus
I had a social studies teacher in junior high who was a self-proclaimed card-carrying Communist. He was passionate about redistribution of wealth and redressing the wrongs that had been suffered by the common man. He was also white. I mention this because I’m guessing that he asked to be assigned to teach in my junior high, which was predominantly African-American (this was before busing) and next door to a high school that had been the scene of race riots in the years previous. I don’t remember specifically anything he taught us in the classroom, but I do remember that he took us on a field trip to the Fillmore district and then to see one of San Francisco’s housing projects (both were in African American neighborhoods) to impress on us both the beauty of African American arts and culture and to see the results of social injustice. Not exactly the planetarium or an introduction to the symphony.
Obviously my teacher was driven by a vision of the world and the sense that he could make a difference by molding young hearts and minds. His vision came from Karl Marx. He believed in the power of education and used his influence to affect classrooms full of junior highers, many of whom were living the injustices that he felt so strongly needed to be corrected.
And it makes me wonder: What gets me out of bed in the morning? How much am I trying to make a difference in this world? How much am I trying to influence others to make a difference? My vision of a better world doesn’t come from Marx, it comes from Jesus. Jesus was like my social studies teacher: driven by a vision, teaching that vision to others, convinced that his students would make a difference in the world. But instead of a vision drawn from economic theory, Jesus’ vision came from the heart of God. And so his methods came from God’s Word. And his means were and are people who are filled with the Holy Spirit.
It sounds a little weird to compare Jesus to my social studies teacher. But what I’m really doing is comparing myself to my social studies teacher. And I have to ask myself: based on the evidence of my life and of his, whose vision of the world is more compelling, that of Marx or Jesus?
Obviously my teacher was driven by a vision of the world and the sense that he could make a difference by molding young hearts and minds. His vision came from Karl Marx. He believed in the power of education and used his influence to affect classrooms full of junior highers, many of whom were living the injustices that he felt so strongly needed to be corrected.
And it makes me wonder: What gets me out of bed in the morning? How much am I trying to make a difference in this world? How much am I trying to influence others to make a difference? My vision of a better world doesn’t come from Marx, it comes from Jesus. Jesus was like my social studies teacher: driven by a vision, teaching that vision to others, convinced that his students would make a difference in the world. But instead of a vision drawn from economic theory, Jesus’ vision came from the heart of God. And so his methods came from God’s Word. And his means were and are people who are filled with the Holy Spirit.
It sounds a little weird to compare Jesus to my social studies teacher. But what I’m really doing is comparing myself to my social studies teacher. And I have to ask myself: based on the evidence of my life and of his, whose vision of the world is more compelling, that of Marx or Jesus?
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