Wednesday, December 12, 2007

advice for fathers

I was talking to a friend who's been in occupational ministry for over 23 years. He has two sons, aged 28 and 23 who are both loving God and serving the world. The older one is married and working for a non-profit, the other just got engaged. I asked him what advice he would give me to help me raise my son. He said a few things that were good, but after thinking about it a bit more, he gave me this: "Have a good marriage."

the hardest love

Why is it that the hardest people to love are your family?

In "My Monastery is a Minivan" Denis Roy has a chapter titled "I'm not nice anymore". Why is it that when I get into close proximity to the people that are the most important to me I act as though they are the least important?

Here's a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 for family situations:

I will show that I love my (parent, spouse, child) by not giving up, and by looking for ways to make her/his life easier. I will not belittle her/his joys, I will not insist on talking about my business. I will say "please" and "thank you." I won't insist on my own way. I will not act immediately on my anger. I will not bring up past ways s/he's hurt me or ways s/he's messed up. I'll try to be glad when good things happen to her/him and try to understand the things that cause her/him pain. I will not be a source of hurt, but give the benefit of the doubt and look past the current situation to the person that God is making her/him to be. It's hard, but with God's help I'll keep trying.