Tuesday, September 22, 2009

giving and giving away

This past Sunday our membership passed our budget for fiscal year 2010 (which starts in October 2009 for reasons an accountant will have to explain). After presenting an initial budget for consideration back in August, the leadership team became uncomfortable with how low a percentage we were giving to outreach (community and global mission partnerships as well as outreach efforts made directly by our church community). We had cut everything we could in operations and personnel and had come up with a balanced budget. But after developing a balanced budget in August, we decided to present a deficit budget in order to increase our giving to outreach. We were glad that the membership agreed and passed the deficit budget. But I want to take a moment to explain something that didn’t come out in the discussion on Sunday.

Some of what we give goes to partnerships (people and organizations) with which we have a strong relationship or to efforts with which we are directly involved. That money is given with a sense of confidence that it will be used well. But there is also money that goes out without an explicit understanding of how it will be used. For example, we know that money given to the Covenant will be used partly for supporting missionaries and revitalizing churches, and that money given to the Pacific Southwest Conference of the Covenant will go to church planting and mercy and justice efforts. But we don’t have direct control of that money.

By increasing our giving to the Covenant and to our conference we are essentially letting go of that money. It’s no longer under our control. The point isn’t so much to give money away as to give up money’s hold on us. I recently heard a discussion on the radio about poverty as a spiritual discipline. A Jain theologian (this was a BBC program including Jews and Muslims, not a Christian radio program) commented that “those with the most possessions are the most possessed” by materialism. If we want to be filled with the Holy Spirit, we need to empty ourselves of other things, including money, that would otherwise come to have a hold on us.

I'm proud to be a part of a leadership team that recognizes both the need to be responsible stewards of the finances God’s given us and the need to set an example of working to break money’s hold on us. That’s a tension that we all live with, especially in our affluent society. But we have God’s promise: “Seek first [God’s] kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33.

imdepressed.com?

My prayer partner made a wry observation this morning: no one tells about their hurts and disappointments and sadness on social networking sites. The online community is unbearably and artificially “happy”. My prayer partner even wondered if the number of online “friends” one has was inversely proportional to the number of true personal friends one has (but he acknowledged that was the cynic in him talking).

In a way, this is a reflection of our society: it’s not OK to be too public with your weaknesses and imperfections. And it’s also a comment on the nature of online “community”: it’s a place for putting your best foot forward (unless you’re unfortunate enough to be a celebrity who’s videotaped puking on his bathroom floor), at least as much as you can control.

So where can we go for the support to get us through those times that we all face on a regular basis, times when we’re feeling sad, ashamed, weak, remorseful, or hurt? Nothing can take the place of a face-to-face confession or a good cry or a hand on the shoulder. After Job had hit bottom, losing fortune and family and health, his friends came to him and just sat and said nothing for a week. They understood that physical presence is sometimes the best thing you can offer a hurting friend and it’s not something you can offer online.

light

At our last monthly visit to a residence for people who are HIV positive we did the usual: cooked dinner for them, hung out in the common area, and then ate with them. Interestingly, I met several people I hadn’t met before (we’ve been going there monthly for almost 4 years). One person stood out to me: a woman who was joyfully overseeing a fast-moving game of cards and seemed to have something playful to say to all the players. Everyone was “honey” or “sweetie” to her. And she was obviously loved by everyone there. I talked to her briefly after the game and she showed me the same warmth that she had for everyone.

Later I asked about her and found out that she was a new resident. Then I asked about the others around the table. I was surprised to find that some of them had been at the residence for several years but had never bothered to or wanted to come out to eat with us (I don’t think our cooking is that bad). But because of this new resident they were willing to come out of their rooms and be social. They knew that she’d put a bit of sunshine in their day and it was worth it.

Am I like that new resident? Are people drawn to me because they know I’ll bring some sunshine into their lives? And if they are, I hope that brightness is a reflection of God’s light in me. People may be hostile to organized religion or to dogma or to theology, but when God’s love is shining through me, it will be an attraction whether or not they know the source. “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16.